Weight Loss Journey begins Now -- March 13, 2013

     So, today I thought i would write down that i have been feeling worn out, sickly...which could be due to the low energy, but...I also attribute to my weight being a factor as well. As of right now. I currently weight 315.4 lbs. I feel awful about myself. I don't know how i ever let myself get this big. I need to get this under control before i end up weighing so much i can't move. As of right now, i'm still fairly in shape technically because i have no health problems and i can move around and walk just like anyone else.
This is my current weight picture. Sort of a before.-------------->

     My left knee hurts sometimes but i know that with the proper diet and exercise i can lose the weight and keep it off. I want to feel better. It's not about looking good because so many people have put me down i learned to rise above what they have called me and said. I do suffer from agoraphobia but i don't generally look in the mirror and feel bad about what i see, i just worry about my health and realize my family and friends are probably worried too. 

     I saw a documentary on the half ton mom, her name was Renee Williams. Let me start this off by saying she was a lovely woman, her face was beautiful and her faith was strong. She wanted to lose the weight for her children so she agreed to undergo a gastric bypass. This for one, should never have been agreed to by any surgeons. About ten days after she had the surgery, she experienced shortness of breath, chest pain and finally went into cardiac arrest and died. 

     She mentioned she had hope and knew this would be good for her. I find surgeries to be the worst way to get weight loss results. Its dangerous and quite a few people i know  have had complications to weight loss surgery. I think if your too heavy to move, start off changing your calorie intake, diet, drink more water and move even if just a little. This should help you start to feel a little more mobile after about a week and you may even see slight weight loss.  But unless you absolutely need the surgery or if you are too high risk for the weight loss surgery, something else must be done. 

     Which is why, I have decided to lose weight. I don't want to end up that big. I couldn't bare to see myself get that big or see any pity glances from someone i know such as friends or family. They would all love me just as i am, well most of them. I knew someone who was overweight and she got even more overweight after she got married and had a child. Yes, it was partially her fault. Her hormones were out of balance though which also contributed. People were nice to her face but when she wasn't around the snide comments and jokes at her expense would fly. 

       I am proud to say she has lost quite a bit of the weight, at least 100 lbs.  so far and she is still going. She is an inspiring person, who tries to make healthy choices and has only ever been nice to people. We have also had our differences but the amount of inspiration she puts in my life when i see her, is staggering. She's an amazing person with a beautiful soul and i'm very proud of her. 

     My weight is 315.4. My goal weight overall is 133 lbs, which means i have to lose 186 pounds to reach it. My short term goal is 20 lbs, and my long term goal is 50 pounds. So...here's to a new start, with the new moon, a new year, and a new, more positive attitude. I will update on my pictures as i reach my goals. Wish me luck....

Oh and this blogpost is dedicated to Renee Williams, Cat Melhuish, and all those people out there who are struggling with self image, or weight induced health problems. This is for you. My journey is to be an inspiration (hopefully) for you. This is for all the girls who thought they weren't good enough because of body fat they hid themselves in. All the boys out there who were too afraid to come forward and say I need help, this is for you. And most of all, this is for myself, my husband, and my future. This is for my friends.